Stunned by the Truth
Denial: first described by the famed psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud as refusing to acknowledge upsetting facts about external events and internal ones, including memories, thoughts, and feelings.
MY WORKING BRAIN IS STUCK. It doesn’t like what’s coming so it doesn’t pay attention. It is hiding behind some gray matter, sporadically sending inappropriate messages down confused neural pathways. I watch my left thumb twitch.
After all, my brain developed in the suburban midwest where no one paid any know-how to disagreeable details. Bad news was shunned, ignored, tsk-tsked away.
My face is expressionless, masked, nothing but vapor and dust. That is what it feels like if only I could feel something. I am numb from the blow of the “news” even though it has been coming on for many years.
When you are confronted by a horrible truth—a shake, a fall, a look in the mirror—denial can rescue you from the accompanying pain. It allows time to adjust to the ferocious fear bearing down.
But denial can also shut the door on truth.
So, I let the door swing open, and then closed.
Open and closed.
"Denial. Psychology Today. 2023.
Burton, Neel. "Self Deception Part 1: Denial." January 30,2019. Psychology Today.
Photo by Trude Jonsson Stangel on Unsplash
